Kiss and make up (or make-out, whichever suits you)

Every now and then a quarrel breaks out amongst guys, lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: What is the greatest sport on earth?




Some say "Football". Some say "Cricket". Some even nominate "Golf".




My Girlfriend says KISSING. "Yes, kissing is the greatest sport on earth" she says. And she has reasons too, that I totally agree with.




Kissing is the most versatile sport around. There are so many types of kisses to choose from – at least one for just about any occasion. There is the quick peck on the cheek kiss, the peck on each cheek kiss, the peck on your nephew's cheek while grabbing the other cheek, the wildly passionate kiss, the elegant kiss on the hand, the dreaded kiss of death, the "Hey you! Kiss this"





The Art of Kissing Is Easy.
It really doesn't matter where you are. You can kiss: at the gym, in the boardroom, in the space shuttle, even in Antarctica during the ice-bed melting period.
Kissing requires so little equipment, which means you can do it even when not prepared for the occasion, and even when you have to travel light. This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers.
Kissing always livens things up. Try this: the next time you are in an oh-so-boring boardroom meeting that seems to last oh-so-forever, why not just kiss somebody. Go ahead; try it. See how it livens things up?
Kissing is not legally punishable in most countries. Rumors are circulating that kissing in public will even be legalized soon all over the world, except for Afghanistan & Iraq may be.
Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you don't pollute the environment.
Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not driving.
Kissing is non toxic... unless you kiss somebody who has just gulped down a bottle of baygon-spray. Even so, kissing is still safe, as long as you do not stick your tongue down the person's throat.
Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps the best news of all, because dieters now have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies.
Kissing is organic, low in sodium, preservative-free, low in saturated fats and does not contain dozens of confusing ingredients that cannot be pronounced, like javelchromopntheoremicherbicidic acid.
Most kisses are not tested on animals, but who am I to stifle your sense of adventure?
You can kiss just about everyone: your lover, your aunt, your spouse, your kids, your doctor. Don't try kissing them all at the same place, though... especially not your lover and your spouse, if they are two different individuals.
Kissing meets the toughest safety regulations of any national or international sporting organization. Kissing has a tremendous safety record, except for when the other person is not in a mood (or wants to kill you, for which I suggest you run for your life).
In ordinary cases recorded deaths involving kissing are by third parties only, usually wives, husbands, spurned lovers.
Extreme Kissing is NOT recommended. For instance, don't kiss an on-duty garbage truck; it is considered dangerous. Don't kiss a metal fence-post in sub-zero weather; readers in northern climates know exactly what I mean. Don't kiss any electrical outlets, or you'll loose the zeal forever. It's OK to kiss sandpaper, just don't use your tongue. Don't kiss an operating chainsaw; I feel this one is self-explanatory.

But overall, kissing is so great that it makes Cricket, Football or Basketball seem like little league sports. Next time you encounter the guys arguing over this, just go in and give everyone a kiss.




I guarantee that you will win the argument hands down. And if not, at least you will make some new friends to argue with. Or you may end up declaring that you are gay, if it wasn't known already.




Note: Do Not replace "kiss" with any other word as it will mess up the meaning of a lot of sentences used in the above article to unimaginable extent.













---Chris---