Kiss and make up (or make-out, whichever suits you)

Every now and then a quarrel breaks out amongst guys, lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: What is the greatest sport on earth?




Some say "Football". Some say "Cricket". Some even nominate "Golf".




My Girlfriend says KISSING. "Yes, kissing is the greatest sport on earth" she says. And she has reasons too, that I totally agree with.




Kissing is the most versatile sport around. There are so many types of kisses to choose from – at least one for just about any occasion. There is the quick peck on the cheek kiss, the peck on each cheek kiss, the peck on your nephew's cheek while grabbing the other cheek, the wildly passionate kiss, the elegant kiss on the hand, the dreaded kiss of death, the "Hey you! Kiss this"





The Art of Kissing Is Easy.
It really doesn't matter where you are. You can kiss: at the gym, in the boardroom, in the space shuttle, even in Antarctica during the ice-bed melting period.
Kissing requires so little equipment, which means you can do it even when not prepared for the occasion, and even when you have to travel light. This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers.
Kissing always livens things up. Try this: the next time you are in an oh-so-boring boardroom meeting that seems to last oh-so-forever, why not just kiss somebody. Go ahead; try it. See how it livens things up?
Kissing is not legally punishable in most countries. Rumors are circulating that kissing in public will even be legalized soon all over the world, except for Afghanistan & Iraq may be.
Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you don't pollute the environment.
Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not driving.
Kissing is non toxic... unless you kiss somebody who has just gulped down a bottle of baygon-spray. Even so, kissing is still safe, as long as you do not stick your tongue down the person's throat.
Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps the best news of all, because dieters now have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies.
Kissing is organic, low in sodium, preservative-free, low in saturated fats and does not contain dozens of confusing ingredients that cannot be pronounced, like javelchromopntheoremicherbicidic acid.
Most kisses are not tested on animals, but who am I to stifle your sense of adventure?
You can kiss just about everyone: your lover, your aunt, your spouse, your kids, your doctor. Don't try kissing them all at the same place, though... especially not your lover and your spouse, if they are two different individuals.
Kissing meets the toughest safety regulations of any national or international sporting organization. Kissing has a tremendous safety record, except for when the other person is not in a mood (or wants to kill you, for which I suggest you run for your life).
In ordinary cases recorded deaths involving kissing are by third parties only, usually wives, husbands, spurned lovers.
Extreme Kissing is NOT recommended. For instance, don't kiss an on-duty garbage truck; it is considered dangerous. Don't kiss a metal fence-post in sub-zero weather; readers in northern climates know exactly what I mean. Don't kiss any electrical outlets, or you'll loose the zeal forever. It's OK to kiss sandpaper, just don't use your tongue. Don't kiss an operating chainsaw; I feel this one is self-explanatory.

But overall, kissing is so great that it makes Cricket, Football or Basketball seem like little league sports. Next time you encounter the guys arguing over this, just go in and give everyone a kiss.




I guarantee that you will win the argument hands down. And if not, at least you will make some new friends to argue with. Or you may end up declaring that you are gay, if it wasn't known already.




Note: Do Not replace "kiss" with any other word as it will mess up the meaning of a lot of sentences used in the above article to unimaginable extent.













---Chris---

Is Formal Education Overrated?

A day after her eleventh birthday my sister has posed a fundamental question:"If I want to become a fashion designer or singer why do I need to go to school?"





I don't really have a good answer.




As the participants on 'Paanchvi Paas' have demonstrated, most of us don't remember anything we actually studied in those classrooms. Forget the stuff like trigonometry or calculus, basics bhi gul hain.




Looking at the 6th standard CBSE textbooks I would say that by the end of this year Rebecca would have learnt all the stuff we really need to know in life. ie




Reading & writing: English, Hindi




Basic maths: addition, subtraction, multiplication, division




Basic science & social studies: Basic anatomy & physiology of human body, Introduction to democracy, different parts of India and the World, etc.




But no, she will have to plod on to higher classes and study more. 10th, 12th and then some form of college. Why? Well, these are the reasons I could think of:




Because I did it, he did it, she did it, they all did it. You gotta do it to be known as 'educated'.




Because any document you apply for - passport, visa and bank account - you will be asked for educational qualification.




Because without a formal certificate/ diploma/ degree you will be counted in the 'illiterate' category even if you are more street-smart and excel at your profession.




Besides, I said. What if you change your mind and want to do something other than fashion design when you are 16? You can't go back and rejoin 7th standard. She doesn't buy it.




In my heart I know the answer. It is me as an elder sister who is afraid to make my little sister an exception to the rule. Even if I know that part of this creative little soul is deteriorating everyday on that wooden bench, copying Q & A from the blackboard.




Although there are brilliant examples of parents who are choosing home schooling.




The other day I read about Mr. Narayanan who withdrew his two sons from formal schooling. One of them is now a wildlife photographer and the other, an origami artist.




Our decision to pull them out came when Shivaram returned from Mumbai after wrapping up an Origami programme where over 3000 children participated. He had missed his half yearly exams and wrote them on returning. Quite predictably he did not do well as he had no time to prepare. But, the school authorities said that we had our priorities all wrong and that his talents in this little known art would get him nowhere. Studies and marks was all that mattered to them. So, we decided that we would not allow the system to drown our children's talents - whatever the field may be.




The Narayanans enrolled the boys in the National Institute of Open Schooling (NIOS) which gave them ample time to develop other interests. Well, hats off to them, but I don't have the energy or the devotion to go down that path.




At the end of the day, I rationalize, Rebecca is just a kid and school is where she is learning valuable social skills. And the System is also teaching her that life means buckling down and doing things you don't really want to do or like to do. Because they have to be done.





She may want to spend the evening exploring her many birthday gifts. But that will have to wait until after she completes her workbook. And while she does that, I continue to ponder on that question... Unable to frame an answer that will make sense to her.





---Liz---